Finding Wholeness With Our Relationships

<Susanrose> While we are waiting for the others to log on,
can those of us here early say where we make our homes?
It would be interesting for the web site readers to get the feel
of the world wide nature of the gathering.
<Lakshmi-S> Boston, MA 9pm Nov 30
<basil> lives in Washington DC. You may have heard of the place.
<David> Huntsville AL
<Jbb-s> :-) Dallas, Texas
<Dreamie> California
<gina> back HOME -(New Zealand)
<Alaya> Prescott, AZ. soon to be Courtland, Missouri
<humphrey> Hong Kong, China -10am December 1, 1997
<Susanrose> Well I am 9pm Nov 30th in Pittsburgh PA USA
My sister Karen has been trying to join us
From Erie, PA
<karen-s> yep! It's me!
<Jbb-s> welcome!
<Susanrose-s> I am soooo happy
my best buddies are here
<SWPFox-> well! lets get this party started!

WE NEED to relax now
Breathe together
Breathe together, and create a group mind
Breathing deep now.
Breathe in peace

Breathe out concerns
Breathing together
Breathe in light
Breathe out fear

A Coming Together
A Group mind
All Seeking the unity of Spiritual Growth.
As we prepare to listen to others.

Breathe in.......Deep

Nov. 30th, 1997
"The Agony and Ecstasy"
Finding Wholeness with our Relationships.

Falling in love...again...
Nothing else feels so good,
nothing else can cause so much pain.

With fears of being hurt and reliving the same pains,
many tune out of the whole relationship merry go round.

But sooner or later, you feel the sweet breeze of springtime
blow the cobwebs of mistrust from your heart.
You begin to hope
You begin to dream
You begin to pray that the next new love
will not put you on a roller coaster of emotions.

Like a skilled surfer, can I be evolved enough
to maintain my balance on the surf board,
while experiencing the power and pleasure,
riding the curl of the wave, without the crash of the
wipe out?

After a 20 year marriage and the following 3 years
of several on- again, off again relationships,
I am in search of the inner strength, wisdom,
and wholeness that can only be found in the worthiness of spirit.

I pray to bring this to the table of that new relationship.
For my own sanity, joy. peace and pleasure,
as well as that of my partner.

Two years ago, I presented a gathering on the topic
of relationships, but I am still no expert.

Friends, I am only a survivor, like many of you out there...
of the cycles of co-dependency and expectations that occur
when doing the heart tango with another.

<gina> :)
<Dreamie> :)

No matter how we would like to make sexual unions
less than mind blowing, there is evidence that the
spiritual/soul interminging that occurs weaves a
bond on an astral level that we may not appreciate,
until it is overwhelming in the feeling.

Here is a quote from the Book "The Tree of Ecstasy"
by Dolores Ashcroft-Nowicki
ISBN 0-85030-899-2

"Too many people regard sex as something casual
to be indulge in and then forgotten.
Nothing could be further from the truth.

Every contact we make from the once only,
'Sorry, my fault,' when you bump
into a stranger in the supermarket, to the
commitment of the marriage bed,
results in what is called an 'arch tread' linkage.

An arc tread is an astral filament that attaches
two people together.
It can also attach people to things, pets, places, money, etc.
The fleeting touch will soon thin out and fall away,
but the deeper, repeated attachments
can and do take a lifetime to break, if then.

The deepest contact two people can make is a sexual one.
After all, they are sharing their bodies with each other,
and sharing the fluids that flow through, to say nothing
of the astral, mental and spiritual fluid.

The most fleeting of sexual contacts
will result in a very strong arc thread.
If you are strong-willed you may
be able to break them, if not, you will find yourself returning
to that person again and again even if you
do not wish to do so."

The Cosmic treading of hearts and souls to one
another that occurs in physical love has not been
over looked by many of the world's religions.

For example.
Tantra is an esoteric part of Hindu traditions.

ccording to Tantra, the universe and everything
in it is permeated by a secret power,
emanating from the single Source of All Being.
This power manifests itself in three forms:
receptive female inertia, dynamic male energy,
and the harmonious union of the two.

These three forms of one power underlie
every movement in the universe
and every activity in the human organism.

When an intense physical union occurs between a male-electrical
dominated individual and a female- magnetic dominated individual,
the couple provide a conduit for cosmic force,
which flows through them and into the earth.
Thus, sexual intercourse is a serious religious ritual
to facilitate the experience of God.

<bow> tantric is always thought of as sexual to most people,
they do not understand the oneness with the cosmos of its rituals
<Lakshmi-S> its tough to find a tantric partner
<Dreamie> facilitate the experience of God
<Jbb-s> I think your comment on sex is correct in the physical,
but the deepest contact I think is Spiritual.
<humphrey> If you read the book "Only Planet of Choice"
it mentions the same idea's
<SWPFox> I'm interested in this arc-thread thing....
from the smallest amount of contact there is a linkage
<Susanrose-s> I have often felt that on line romances
can make some pretty strong arc threads...
sometimes wonderful ones, but sometimes ones that get pretty confusing
<SWPFox> hehe...Susanrose: off-line relationships take the cake
in the confusion area
<Dreamie> hehe relationships period!!
<SWPFox> true
<Susanrose-s> fox, dream... off line romance is no exception
<SWPFox> but at least with on-line, I know I can control the level of contact
<Susanrose-s> or do we fox?
<SWPFox> if I get confused, I can turn off the computer
<Susanrose-s> I would tend to disagree
I think we may have less control of the astral/cyber connection
heart treads than we think
<David> true

<thefool> Susan, how do you explain then the difference
between male and female on their perception of sex?
<Susanrose-s> Fool... the native Americans say they are on opposite ends
of the medicine wheel... the differences counter balance each other,
but assisting in the places they are in the wheel
<thefool> sorry Susan, IM just a fool , I didn't understand your answer
<Susanrose> Differences in the perceptions can
compliment each other at different places on the wheel of life.
I would tend to think that some difference in the way women view
sex may be in a "nesting" gene that makes a subconscious connection
between sexual connections and making a nest or home. May help
preserve the species, perhaps..(smile) Men seem to make this
settling in awareness later, after habitual repetition draws them
closer to a psychic post with the mate. Just my observations...

I will start again in western tradition view of

In the Old Testament, the erotic love poetry of the Bible's Song of Songs
has always been understood as immensely spiritual.
At least one Jewish classic from the 13th century,
called simply The Holy Letter (Hebrew, Iggeret Ha-kodesh)

propounds a rich view of sexuality as a Divine creation.
It states that "sexuality can be a means of spiritual elevation
when it is properly practice, and the mystery greater
than this is that secret celestial couplings
unite according to a male-female pattern."

Torah does have a ritual sexual activity
which serves to unite man and woman with God
as they unite with each other,
and this is the ritual of sexual union on Shabbat, the Sabbath.
At midnight on Friday night, the male and female become united
within God in perfect undifferentiated wholeness.
By imitating God and united male and female,
humans have the opportunity to participate in the ultimate experience.

Perhaps touching into the archypical expressions of divinity,
makes us feel a wholeness, at least temporarily,. that we long for
in our daily lives.

The trick is to not translate that consciously or
subconsciously into a longing for that mate to complete us, finish our
spiritual work, and take us "home". Make no one outside of
yourself responsible for your happiness, fulfillment or completion.

All Spiritual growth must be done
internally, with use utilizing the tools the physical plane presents to
give us the lessons as well as the springboard into higher planes of


<thefool> Susan , I didn't learned much Jewish religion in school
when I was a kid, but I thought Sabbath was a day of rest.
<Susanrose> perhaps it is late Friday night he is referring to.
<thefool> Sabbath starts at Friday night with first star and ends s
Saturday night on first star, on those hours, Jews are supposed to do
things according to the light of God.
<Susanrose-s> Well, fool, I gotta say coming from Israel,
you probably know more about it than I, but my source is a Reformed Rabbi...
maybe a little hip for conservative tradition. Perhaps the union of
Masculine and Feminine Spirit is Honoring the light of God.
<thefool> well you see Susan , the beautiful thing about Judaism
is that is has SO MENY different translations... actually the tora
is the thing that have so many different interpretations...
it is said the tora have 70 faces...
<Susanrose-s> True fool, you should meet some of the new age Jewish folks
who are into Shekhina, The Wisdom, Feminine Aspect of God.
They have a web site that honors Her at
Look sometime and tell me what you think

<Guardy> I think when choosing our partners, we are, in a way,
looking for what is missing in ourselves?
<David> If it is missing in yourself Gaudy, you will never find it in your partner.
<Guardy> no, I think you can learn what you are missing from your partner
and vice versa. the old "opposites attract"
<David> ok, that seems better

<karen> does not HAVE to be male/ female?
just one soul touching another, right?
<Susanrose-> Karen.... yes, it is on a soul to soul level...
remember the scene in the movie "Cocoon",
where the light ball is emitted from the alien (feminine being?)
and covers the male with love?
<karen> how do you find that light ball?
<Susanrose> Karen- build one with your desire and energy
<Lakshmi> so.....this light energy...interesting...
a thing to build as a matrix within ourselves?
<karen> gotta find the materials to build it with -- gotta hammer?
(maybe superglue?) :-)
<Dreamie> hehe have all the tools
<Susanrose> Lakshmi- It may be built for love/pleasure,
but also for healing, protection...
multi purpose balls.... haha ..targeted to help heal, help or just cover with love
For directions on how to build a light ball, read
Just fill the sphere with your intent for it's focused target... this
or something better to whom it is directed. :)

<Lakshmi-> the internal matrix...this "pattern" of inner knowing
or expression as a fully developed individual...what does THIS look like?
how do we live in this space as ecstatic beings in this world?
A pattern of fully present spiritually developed beings ready to
unite with god in our relationships
what does this fully present geometric patterning of evolutionary
developed human matrix look like?

<humphrey> I think males deep down know that sex can bring them
and their partner in union with all that is. That is why they search for sex
with so many different partners, in search of their connection with God.
What they don't understand is that it's within themselves,
and together with the female they can unite.
<Lakshmi> humphrey, I think it can be the same for females as well...
thats a very honest observation
<humphrey> :) Lakshmi
<thefool> humphrey , that is a very interesting point of u , and I must say I like it :) ..
<Lakshmi> Humphrey..can you talk to us more of the male point
of view with your candor and honesty?
<karen> I'd love to learn more about the male psyche' still baffels me!
<Dreamie> hehe
<Avad> I am very much confused as a male,
and know much less about females

<thefool> humphrey, the only things males that seek sex don't know is,
that every time they reach an orgasm they lose so much
un retrivable life energy :(
<Jbb-s> what a terrible attitude
<humphrey> quite the opposite fool
<Jbb-s> in real divine union, energies are exchange and each
are replenished
<Dreamie> food for the soul so to speak?
<Susanrose> Fool, I do not believe the energy is lost, it is replaced,
as it flowing and not stagnant
<Lakshmi> in Hinduism there is a practice called Ureta...
where the sexual energy is pulled up the kundalini and used
to "awaken" the spiritual energy in sannyasins
( or celebates) often have this power
<humphrey> energy brought about by an orgasm in a full loving relationship
lights up the universe and returns to you fourfold!
<Susanrose> Wow...Hey Humphrey, are you attached?
I know some single women in Pittsburgh who would like to meet you! (giggle)
<Dreamie> hehe Susan
<Rawn> when an energy is released the conduit is open to receive
more right make in...the trick it to allow it to flow,
and not try to hold onto something that u cant anyway,
that is the only time you feel drained

<thefool> The bible talks against wasting sperm
<Susanrose> Fool... they only don't want sperm wasting
because they want it used for more babies born in the tribe...
<Lakshmi> very good Susanrose...
<thefool> well in all religions they say ... do not waste sperm!!
<gina> the old Hindu belief is that one drop of sperm is equal to
500 drops of careful how you use it...
however I believe that it can be used
to aid your consciousness
<humphrey> I agree fool sperm is of great importance.
<Lakshmi> well, so...using it wisely is a good thing

<Susanrose> (Smile)
Below I will paste in comments received via e-mail from people on my
mail list who would like to attend, but may or may not make it tonight,
to share their thoughts
on this subject with us:

From: Gina Allan, in New Zealand:
I'm in a way happy to see the topic you have selected as I feel that after
such a long relationship, being on your own will allow for the totality of
the self to now come forward. Not easy, and often very lonely.
One seeks out the inner strengths and brings them into the open...
From that growth I then think a new man will come into your life
to share your work. Love and Peace,

Thank you Gina!
Next are comments from my dear friend Argus, from New Jersey
<remember my buying that book called
Addiction/codependency are interrelated....the key in my opinion is for each
person to become WHOLE...when one loves oneself enough does not look
outside to fill a void inside....or to furnish what one is missing inside..

I guess it starts from my belief that each of us creates our own reality...
which means we have to find wholeness within...
THEN we can share with others
outside...and we will not be drawn or attracted to someone
who has something we lack....but rather to someone who like ourselves..
is also whole...

<Dreamie> Make no one outside of yourself responsible
for your happiness....I LOVE THAT!
<Lakshmi> Claiming ones Inherent Oneness ...when in relationship
with others in a full way..
<David> Both do not need to be as one - that is the mystery -
they need to honor the space between them!
and in their differences
honor and trust in their love

Now from: "Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan" (California)
This is the outline of what I believe are
"The keys to conscious relationships".

1. Every relationship is Spiritual. Every issue is about you,
not the other person. Even when there is an "identified bad guy"
someone voted to be with him or her.

2. Relationships are always fifty-fifty and are always the perfect right
teacher for you on your spiritual path. There are no mistakes or accidents.

3. Every relationship is a direct mirror of your own souls evolvement.
You draw to yourself the right teacher needed in any given moment.

4. The basic reasons why relationships don_t work are The Spiritual ABC_s:
A - Lack of Awareness ( It's all about you and not me- If you'd only change syndrome)
B - Lack of Understanding about Boundaries/Free Will (Inflicting our
spiritual agenda on others to make ourselves safe)
C - Lack of Tools with which to Communicate, Lack of Commitment

5. For relationships to work we must find safety and love within our own
selves and be willing to let go of the fantasy that anyone else can make us feel
safe or lovable.

6. For relationships to work we must be willing to remove the barriers/fears
that prevent us from creating intimacy. The fastest way out is always
right through the center of the fear.

7. For relationships to work we must be fully responsible for our own
individual needs and growth. We must refuse to be a victim or a victimizer.

8. For relationships to work we must commit to being fully present, fully
truthful and fully committed. This does not mean that when the lesson is
finished one can not choose to leave. But being half in anything will result
in half the lesson being learned.

9. For relationships to work we must be willing to let go,
without ego or any attachment to looking or being right,
of the negative programs that no longer serve us.

10. For relationships to work we must be committed to experiencing
joy and ecstasy.

To find the answer the question is always: What would love do?
I hope this helps and I look forward to being with you at some future point.
Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan

Next is:
From: Bill Stewart <>
"After 31 years of marriage, perhaps I could make a comment regarding things
that have helped me."
<Susanrose-s> pssst! after 31 years... this guy has a few years at this!
<Dreamie> say the least
<Guardy> all to the same woman?
<Susanrose-s> so he says:)
<thefool> :) my folks are 27 years togther
and they look like they've just met ;)
<gina> :)
<Susanrose> To get back to Bill's Stewart's advice:
1) Absolute trust is essential....
I had to accept that she is an equal, thinking adult whose, interests are as
valuable as mine.

2) Trust is lost because of experience as it tangles with different
priorities or values that have not been clarified ahead of time.

3) Never finish the day with emotional unfinished business. Stay up and
talk it out. If you can't sleep in the same bed, you're not done yet.
both must agree to this.

4) Agreement is not always necessary. it is ok to agree to disagree on
some things. However...

5) Acceptance of different points of view and different priorities is
absolutely necessary. Two people are not supposed to become as one, they
are to share so completely that differences become enhancing to the

6) Sharing experiences does not mean that we always do it my way or her
way. Some times we do it mine and some times hers and we have also
developed "our" way for things.

7) People change....independently of one another. The key is for them to
change on similar things at about the same rate. One partner can not
exclude the other from changes taking place even if the other partner is
not "interested"

Case in point: my conscious spiritual evolution has
taken place in two time frames during the span of our marriage. Although
my wife is not really involved with this, she has accompanied me on various
parts of this evolutionary journey, including the trip to Bancroft, Canada
last summer. She supports and understands what she can.

Similarly, when being a girl scout leader was important for her.
I was at home with the
kids...from the time they were 1.5 years old on. Sally would feel free to
schedule an overnight and leave us for the weekend. I did not like it, but
found things to like in it...especially as the kids got older and we look
forward to these times to go out to get pizza together or to go to a film.

8) Supporting one another in what we do is basic, fundamental.
Compromise is a constant. There is no such thing as always have or always
will. There is just a constant stream of decisions and commitments.

One of our commitments has always been to include the other in any decision
involving any of our three relationships with each other. I have a
relationship with myself, with her and to us. Of course 100% inclusion is
not always possible, but communication at the earliest possible moment is

9) No secrets...except for positive surprises...even then I'm not much
good at keeping secrets. Besides, I talk in my sleep!!! So, no
secrets...better I be conscious when I say something. .

10) We find reasons to praise and assist. Assisting is still difficult
because we organize and approach work very differently. We work parallel
to each other better than we work together on some things. So, now that we
know that before we start a mutual project we talk out how it will be
organized and where responsibilities are so that we don't accidentally
frustrate each other.

We have made a "joke" out of the word standards.
Whenever one or the other tries to short cut a job we just say the word
'standards' and nothing more needs to be said.

11) Laugh at self, and with your spouse but not at the spouse.

12) The commitment is to the partnership before the commitment to self,
(unless the commitment to partnership is self-destructive) Nothing gets in
the way of the partnership. I remember one of our children trying the
'divide and conquer' routine on us once. I looked at the child who was old
enough to understand and said, in essence.... my relationship to your
mother is more important to me than my relationship to you. Your mother
and I will stick together on this no matter what. Once we have decided how
to deal with it, that will be the end of it. There was a profound moment
of silence. Then there was understanding.

These things have been important to me. there's probably more. I have
not always been easy to live with, but on the other hand, I am a constantly
changing person. My wife and I had some long, serious heart to hearts when
our marriage was young. I can remember nights feeling that if I couldn't
change I would lose her and the relationship if I couldn't change. I think
there were nights she felt the same way.

I have never worked harder at
anything in my entire marriage is the most important thing in my
life....hence the hard work is never questioned.

I have found the following priorities helpful in determining how to resolve
conflict and disagreement.

1 Faith in God. What is done in God's name through love is always
3 Profession. What my job requires of me is next in importance. I will
do what my job and my personal/professional development requires but not at
the sacrifice of #1 or #2.

4 Volunteer and personal recreational activities, These are the things
that often a re-creational, but they are less important than #1,2, and 3.

This is no sure fire system. It works because I believe it will and do
what is required to make it work with the love and support of my family.
It works because my wife endorses similar things and similar priorities.

Now that we are empty nesters, our personal relationship is growing
stronger. The removal of the dynamic of children from the day-to-day
involvement in our lives has shown us the areas of our lives where we need
to be better aquatinted. We fell in love once and are falling in love again.
Some thoughts.

Thank you Bill!
<Lotus-S> should be published
<Rawn-.> hodag knows his stuff :)
<Susanrose-s> really!
<Dreamie> :)
<Dreamie> wonder if he has a younger brother?
<sage> hodag has great wisdom and insight
<Dreamie> for anything to blossom vibrant it must be nurtured...
I think alot of relationships that end, do so because they were left unnurtured
<humphrey> sounds like it would work for me
<Susanrose-s> really... the process of loving is understanding,,,
and it takes time to understand
<sage> especially of ones self

<sage> it's about intent
<Rawn->..I would agree...if the INTENT is there on both parts
of the couple to be as one, then it shall work
<Susanrose-s> you must both love the dream
the dream will sustain both of your hearts
<sage> yep and live it
<Dreamie> ~the dream~
<Susanrose-s> must both buy into it, and invest your heart into making
the dream real
<Lakshmi-S> buy = an exchange of energy
<Susanrose-s> sigh! it is romantic to me... to dream of sitting on a mall bench,
with grey hair with my sweetie, watching the world go by...

<Rawn> don't care much for Dreams because that sets possibility
not it not being reached, or even true...
would like to see it more as a tangible path
<Susanrose-s> the dream does not have to be complicated...
so it is do-able
<Lakshmi> what is our ultimate dream anyway?
...think about it...maybe the romantic thing and our ultimate dream
for this planet are not necessarily the same..
... or are they?

<Susanrose> falling in love with life, with the planet
and with your mate can all be intertwined.
<David> Susanrose I think it is more than intertwined, I think it IS one
<Susanrose> yes....
I would like to mention a wonderful book aimed at people
who have been burnt by love, and helping them to drop the bitterness.
It is a spiritual book that is a fun, quick read. It offers hope and
encouragement to those who need courage to begin again.
The title is God on a Harley, by Joan Brady ISBN 0-671-00278-3
To paraphrase a passage from the book, our heroine, a jilted nurse,
finds her own power...
<<"I really do like your smile", he said sweetly. "Something about you
strikes me as so real. I am so very attracted to you".
That was it! He said the magic word. He was attracted to me.
I had attracted him, not approached him. My enlightened and contented soul
was attracting an enlightened man.

This was too perfect, except that now I knew there was no such thing
as too perfect. Everything was just the way it was supposed to be.
He offered me his hand, and I took it,
letting him lead the way. I
didn't feel like I was relinquishing anything like control or power.
It just felt good to allow myself to receive. Life was such an adventure now.
So many things had changed, but mostly I had changed
and that had been the catalyst my world had needed.>>

So how did the nurse change her attitude... become that bubbly
beacon that attracted the right mate? Well, she received 6 commandments
to live by...

(instead of the previous 12) and if you would like to
view them, hopefully, they will be the catalyst you might need
to fix up your aura before meeting Mr/Ms right.
1. Do not build walls. Learn to transcend them.
2. Live in the moment, for each one is precious and not to be squandered.
3. Take care of yourself, first and foremost.
4. Drop the ego. Be real. And watch what happens.
5. All things are possible all the time.
6. Maintain Universal Flow. When someone gives, it is an act of generosity
to receive. For in the giving there is something gained.

For net browsers, here is some information I found meaningful at:

The following quotes relating to
the topic of sex, and desire were compiled from:
Dadaji's conversations and discussions

"The belief that senses are our enemy is
absolutely incorrect. The moment we have
this physical body, we have invited them and
we cannot exist a second without their help.
The senses have an essential role.

they are satisfied, we can hardly expect their
cooperation in helping us to rise above this
physical level of body consciousness. Those
who are conscious of their role know that
these very senses will turn inward in time and
will become the internal ladder to help them
climb to the plane of Divine Consciousness.

You are the worst criminal if you starve your
senses. These are your guests, come to help
you relish the Love and Bliss! Live, but live in tune with the Divine.
Wedded to (God/dess)you reach a Divine orgasm
becoming united with your True Nature.

(God/dess) is the sound of your heartbeat, making
love to you twenty-four hours a day."
<Susanrose> I love that quote!
<David> me too
<Lakshmi-S> yeah,,,..very nice SR..never heard that one :)
<humphrey> it's beautiful!!!!!

So ends the quotes of Dadaji. The thought occurred to me:
if the Divine is the sound of your heartbeat, making love
to you 24 hours a day, imagine what would happen if 2 people
joined together with this conscious realization. How could the precious
awareness blossom within a mated union?
Singularly finding that Divine Bliss, yet sharing in the joy..
The sum of 1+1 equaling far more than 2.


Although I have been distracted in jumping the hurdles of
roadblocks to a meaningful relationship,
please do not think that my inner voice has been silent.
Through the use of going within,

many messages were given to
guide me, with this and other dilemmas. So pasted below
4 different portions of the advice I received from
the wise Goddess within, as She was inspired during Full Moon
mediations. They were meant for a women's circle, but
I have tried to make them meaningful for men as well as women.

#1 On this Valentines day remember my darlings,
do NOT judge your power by whether or not
your co-workers your family, your sexual partners
appreciate your inner or outer beauty.
Feel your personal power.

Does a rose in a garden care,
whether someone gazes upon it?
It is just as lovely and just as scented,
and just as much graces the world with its presence
whether or not it has the admiration of a certain fellow.

So please walk in your beauty
and power and BE THAT ROSE,
whether or not your admirers are on cue.

Remember, your sexuality comes from your power,
your power is NOT your sexuality.
Don't let the tail wag the dog,
but the dog wag the tail.
Let your power shine through.

<Lakshmi-S> I liked what you said about knowing your own beauty...
the rose in the garden thing.... owning your own power

<Susanrose> This is message #2
Through these thousands of years, women had become
second class citizens, and many convinced themselves that
they were second class spirits, which of course was not true.

Women realized that they many gifts, one was the
power of her beauty. Because of beauty, she could bring her
man to humble awe at her bedside, and you all have
experienced this.

<MoonStorm> admiration feels good
This made you feel good, because, for a
moment, you did feel powerful. But it didn't last. It was there,
and then it was gone. When you woke up the next morning,
you wondered how long it would be, before the feeling
could be back.

My daughters, there is a secret to this. The secret is---
your beauty is not what gives you power, your power is
what gives you beauty. Remember this when you look
into the mirror, and see the lovely character of time making
changes upon your reflection.

Realize that it's your power in the
divine magnetic field, the flow of Spirit, that keep you
beautiful, alive, and vital. When you are connected to this
spirit, you cannot help but be beautiful, no matter what age
you are.

When you smile, and this glow lights up, truly, you
are powerful. So manifest love through your form and
through your spirit.
Dare to dream. Dare to love.
Dare to live it.

<Susanrose-s> there is a third message
I hope these are not too spicy for you folks! giggle
<sage> ;o) go for it
<gina> go for it
#3 Cherish the gift of your physical body
as a vehicle of your soul, giving us the ability to complete
creation in the world of form.

One last point, when they do see your
beauty, if it is somebody that you would like to
start a loving. sexual relationship with, remember..
You are a noble Priestess -

don't let him guzzle you down like a drink of iced tea on a hot day.
Let him savor you like a fine wine. Let him wait to bring you to the
right temperature. Let him sniff your aroma.
Then, let him sip you sparingly, because it is
the wanting and the longing that makes the fun occur.

#4 When seeking this divine
lover, you must first find Him/Her within yourself.
Use whatever name you choose to
give, but he/she IS there. He/She must be the kind of lover
hat would support, hold you up, and encourage you to your highest
potential. He/She spirals up with you in perfect delight.
Imagine what he/she would look like, would feel like.

During such times that you are enjoying secret
pleasures, invite your Divine Mate to make love to
you, to fulfill your moment of climax with his presence.
Make love to him/her within yourself.

By loving this truly
whole, supportive and sexy presence, you will be
more familiar to be able to recognize him/her when you see
these aspects in a being of form.

Because, what you fantasize
about in your secret times, is often the kind of mate
that you may attract to yourself in your reality.

<MoonStorm> oh yeah
I belive this part is true it has been my experience
that fantasy has brought many new lovers into my life

If you are imagining love to a divine lover who
honors and respects you, then you will NOT be
attracted to the type of person who dishonors you, who uses
you and humiliates you.
You will have no turn on,
no place for this type of mate in your life. You will not
vibrate with him/her, so he/she will be deflected from you
before the relationship gets to the point where it may
hurt you.

So have that sexy, powerful relationship
with your Divine Counterpart, and do so without any
reservation, in abandonment; welcome Him/Her to your arms.
That is all...

<Susanrose> was it too spicy for ya?
<Dreamie> spice is good
<Lakshmi> beautiful
very much on target...very good
<thefool> I wish woman will read those words
and take them to their hearts
<David> wow there Susanrose not to spicy - think most of it was right on target
<thefool> Susan I loved every one of those messages
and they are very much correct
<Susanrose> If you like, there is more to the messages on various topics
Same source, about 19 different messages

<David> Susan- the last seems to sum it all up -
the fantasizing is the affirmation that will bring it to you
<Dreamie> dare to dream~
<Susanrose-s> it is an OOOMph to the universe to ask
for that which you desire when you orgasm
so be very careful what you are thinking about!
<David> yes, dare to dream (and they may come true)
<Susanrose> yes dream..
<Dreamie> more true than we realize..
<Alaya>Just bought a book as a Christmas present for someone,
"The Art of Sexual Magic" by Margo Anand.
<Susanrose> I have the book too... very classy.
<Lakshmi> the god/dess thing is a wonderful contemplation Susan...
I will listen to my heart beat as I go to sleep tonight

<Susanrose>Yes.. How peaceful, but profound..
Lakshmi is referring to the earlier quote:
(God/dess) is the sound of your heartbeat, making
love to you twenty-four hours a day."
To end my prepared material, here is a beautiful piece that
was circulated to me in group mail on the internet.

"After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman
not the grief of a child

And you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way
of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting
for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn and learn
with every goodbye you learn."

By: Veronica A. Shoffstall

<MoonStorm> I have learned so much
but I still hate the good byes and with time passing
I find I am more cautious to enter into an intimate relationship
and yet tolerate it much better
<Susanrose> Yes, and when you have lived through the bitter
sweet goodbyes, you remember that like the dew on the grass,
Joy cometh in the morning, and love will spring again.

Thank you for joining me tonight for this discussion on
#)Gaia*Friends(. You all have helped me investigate this
topic of relationships. May all of you as well as myself find the
lover we seek that will bring us both to higher spiritual evolution.
Until that day arrives for me,
the loneliness and the wholeness exist side by side.
May the waves of appreciation of life, and worthiness of purpose
wash over me and all of you.
Moving on till tomorrow... Good night.

<Cocoamo> Susanrose I had my perfect mate
and he was just killed in an accident 13 weeks ago.
MoonStorm sending hugs to Cocaomao
<Alaya> sorry cocoamo, so sorry
<Cocoamo> He was killed at work when a high power wire fell on him;
I am having a hard time
Dreamie hugs Cocoamo warmly...
<Susanrose> So sorry!
<thefool> cocoamo, he'll come again for you cocoamo,
he is just changing suits..
he will have a different face, different eyes, different feel BUT
when you'll be near him, you will feel the same feelings you felt before ..
<Cocoamo-> I hope so, I love him sooo much
<thefool> every person have 3 soulmates during his/her life times..
the 3rd one stays for good...
<Avad> well that is interesting fool
<humphrey> have you met your third one thefool?
<Dreamie> I don't think a soul mate ever leaves us....
<Susanrose> A part of each soul mate lingers in our aura as we move on...
<LadyRose> they are with us always....
<thefool> cocoamo, the day you'll over come the anger, the feeling of loss,
the sadness, and the pain you'll receive the understandings and the knowledge
and the way to your next soulmate..
<Lotus> {{{{{Cocoamo}}}}} yes now let your feelings come....
I pray that you will heal from this with time & find deep love again***

<Cocoamo> Susanrose Thanks you:)
<Lotus> thank you Susanrose***
<Dreamie> I love you Susan...thanks for all that you do here
<MoonStorm> thank you Susanrose
<Alaya> thanks Susan, I plan to read this several times and try to digest it more:)
good night folks, thanks for all your interesting commentary
<sage> nite all, namaste
<gina> night all
<basil> thank you, SusanRose, nite all
<Godwin> Nite Susan, remember keep in touch
<Susanrose-s> Blessings to all of you... bedtime for me on the east coast!
Bye for now!
<humphrey> good nite Susan!
<thefool> hugs the stuffings outta Susanrose
<David> I want to stay but duty calls..must go :)
Good night all. Thank you Susanrose for coming from the heart!

<Susanrose-s> PS. For those of you who are ready to try
your luck in romance again, here are some web sites you may want to try... (A Singles Dating Service)