The Nature of Self Esteem

<Susanrose/Arianna>Welcome to this gathering of )Gaia*Friends(.
Tonight, Steven has agreed to share with us his teaching
on self esteem. Steven is a previous host who is a computer consultant,
yoga expert and metaphysical teacher from Australia.

Both of us were discussing on line the other night that issues
regarding self esteem had been coming up for us lately.
Speaking for myself, I know that I can be 3 steps forward,
and 2 back in my development.
Perhaps I needed to give me a boost up, so I was led to look through my
old writings on self esteem. These writings were a result of mediations
held during a women's spirituality circle.
Contents of this message are repeated here, after Steven's thoughts
on the topic. It is also seen at

Funny thing about teaching,
I always seem to desire to teach the topic I need to learn the most :)
Go ahead Steven.

For Ying Yang:
For in out;
For man woman;
For concept and word;
For action and re-action;
For ego and acknowledgment;
For life and death;
For sperm and egg;
For the very space which the body occupies;

There is nothing but reflection.

From that which is reflected and its' reflection, that which
is projected seeks acknowledgment; it seeks validation;
It seeks that which gives it existence.

That which is validated in this way can be called the ego.
Of itself it has no existence so it must be projected and
validated via a perceived reaction in another to that projection.

How can we accept love if our self-esteem is non-existent or low?
Will we allow love to touch us when love lifts our self-esteem?

We will allow love only to the level of our self-esteem -
any more and we will run away or sabotage
our love in some way so that our comfort zone isn't compromised

This comfort zone I speak of is the comfort zone which we are used
to experiencing our lives from. From it, we go out into our lives.
We may go to a bad experience or do something difficult
so that we can succeed at it and after
that love ourselves for having succeeded;
or we may project an image outward to be validated
in our lives and after that love ourselves.

Yet if the realization of our goal or desire contradicts our self-esteem
or moves us out of our comfort zone, we will sabotage it in some way
to keep us at the safe level of experience of love
that we have become accustomed to (this is our comfort zone)
Thus it is very difficult to raise our self-esteem
permanently as we will keep going back to our comfort zone.

Any comments before we continue?

<^Angel^9> smiles at Steven

<Susanrose> I can remember when being in a hurtful relationship,
feeling threatened when things were going right!
It was like, duh! What is going on here? This is not the usual routine
I am used to dealing with! We tend to perpetuate the familiar
even when on some level we understand the need for change.

After all, only in our comfort zone do we feel safe at least to a degree.
Self-esteem is different from ego. Ego looks outward for love;
Self-esteem is the result of love.

To Quote MaryRose:

Self-esteem is a part of unconditional love and acceptance of Self.
It is easy for most of us to accept and love others unconditionally
than it is to feel the same towards Self.
We tend to be our own strongest judges.

So by loving love self-esteem goes up automatically.
Yet if it is only to accept ourselves after
the exterior validates some projection we have projected,
or by some goal we have achieved then our self-esteem is subject to downfall.
So, accepting love and self-esteem are the compliment
of each other one. Without the other, it does
not work. Trying to raise self-esteem by doing or achieving things
exteriorly only brings pain. As soon as that thing is forgotten
our self-esteem goes down again.

Outside lessons teach us to love inside,
yet as previously said, our comfort zone is the catch here.

The moment we love ourselves more,
be that love from validation from the exterior or
from the inside decision to love, the comfort zone still reacts to it.
Yet it is the mind playing a program we gave it to tell us.
Hey! you are getting into deep water look out!

So to accept love we have to transgress our comfort zones
and watch the program play out without reacting to it by fearing
and then sabotaging our new found Self-esteem.
That is how it keep us in our comfort zone.

To go beyond this, learning how to witness consciousness
as described by many yogis is indispensable to attain the necessary self love.
Either that, or the comfort zone is where we stay forever.
Now once we step outside the fence of our comfort zone the program starts.
It is indeed triggered by that very act.

So, knowing it is going to be triggered, we wait for it and watch.
The next thing that will happen
is that mind will try to convince us that we are afraid.
It is only doing its job, so we simply watch the movement of thought
without fear - knowing it is natural for fear to arise.

Allowing it and not running back to the comfort zone is key.
This takes practice of course.
Raising or lowering of self-esteem the same thing occurs. The mind says
warning warning warning!!!!!!
So we run back :)))))
We must push the parameters constantly, constantly, constantly,
expanding our sphere of loving self.

So Mind --- now this is a deep one;-----
the very existence of mind depends on the existence of a comfort zone.
The comfort zone sets the parameters of our consciousness and its limits if
you like.

As the comfort zone expands
so does the conscious awareness of what mind is
capable of. Thus the mind is itself is afraid as its foundation is moved
deeper, momentarily destabilizing it.

For example, take a very nasty person - you will find
that the parameters within which they live
are very narrow. They are often very one track minded,
unable to alter their perspectives at all...
they are not open at all.

The moment their life alters slightly, they lose their equilibrium
in a moment and fly off the handle in some way.
They are inflexible because their consciousness is very narrow.

Funny enough we will find the nastiest persons have the biggest egos.
The narrow parameters of consciousness in this sense
is that the person will not willingly alter their perspective
if it threatens their self-esteem either in a negative way
or a positive one because this would alter their comfort zone.
Thus all change is seen as negative by the mind.

This is what prevents them from experiencing love.
Either way, love is rejected.
So we have to expand our comfort zone to raise our self-esteem. :))))))))

Loving love does this gently - easily.
To begin to love love we must know how and/or what love is.
It is good if we can find an experience to draw on such as the birth of a baby.
Or something we loved in our lives more than anything else ---- something which
due to its nature lifted us beyond ourselves for a moment
to love.

Once we can find that feeling and recall it we can love
the feeling itself as the feeling is love.
Loving it, love grows more and more.

Then slowly, our Comfort zone expands in conjunction with our self-esteem.
Slowly, the mind is re-programmed and our comfort zone program is updated
gradually. Mind begins to trust its own processes.

To do this, is to give love the experience of herself which is what we are.
After a while we begin to see that love is ourselves. WE ARE LOVE!
This realization is what is called self-realization.
As love realizes her true self which is herself,
She becomes conscious as herself and the
experience of the individual is one of uttermost bliss beyond description.

Bahktis teach this yoga of love - OOOMMMM
It is called Bahkti yoga. This love is called Parabahkti :))))))))))))
It is to become conscious as love herself and know her utter Omnipresence-
Omniscience- Omnipotence.

Self-realization :)))))))))))

Oh love, Know thyself this day
Oh love be thou conscious of thyself this day.
Love thyself! OOMMM
I am you and you are me and we are all together as LOVE

< JEP> question... is... in general...
do people find it easier to give or receive love?

<Steven> We give only as much as we are willing to receive
you see we receive what we give
thus again the comfort zone.

Internalizing love we will only love according to our comfort zone.
Eventually we will know that there is only LOVE
Love, love Herself!

Now to end this:
Here at the end of now,
that wonderful moment of Love, knows itself!
I know myself to be nothing -
I am the moment of Love!

To allow myself this, to give the Self I seem to be
when I peer at life, is but one full moment of Love.
By this alone am I freed, and thereby know my name.

<JEP> thank you Steven
<willow> lovely steven
<Lotus> OOOOOMMMMMM *beautiful
Love desires herself
thus the cosmos exists.
Love is Shakti
Love is my lover
She is shakti
You can call it what you like
to me it is shakti :))))))

<Susanrose> Thank you Steven...
I like the feminine description you have for this inward love
you have claimed. Likewise, many in the women's spirituality
movement have claimed worthiness by placing their feminine
characteristics within divine expression. They can see their
own feminine side as part of a larger divine expression called
Goddess. Starting with Eve, traditional religion
has given the message that born into original sin,
and this was partly due to the nature of women.

Men as well as women need to elevate the feminine aspects of
their spirit to break free of this programming. This is not
an expression of vanity or ego to affirm to have Goddess energy,
or to be a microcosm of the Feminine Divine. It is a release
from over 2,000 years of oppression.,

Would anyone like to read what came through to my women's
spirituality circle on claiming our worthiness and
improving our self esteem?...

<Steven> sure Susan
<Ganesha> definitely Susan

<Susanrose> If anyone feels uncomfortable with saying they
are Goddess, then substitute the words "Divine Energy".

<Steven> Divine energy = shakti

I am the Lady of the Silver Ray,
who dispenses Goddess Energy to all life and forms.

You, my darlings, as my creations are lovely manifestations of this Divine Energy.

I want you to see a pedestal, like the top of a marble
column, with ornate decorations.
The pedestal is not too high. It is not hard to get onto.
Take one step up, and transform yourself into being consciously aware
of being the Goddess that you truly are.

For your sake, and the sake of all, take the small step up.
Let my light shine and spotlight you, your own unique lovely beauty,
the gifts that only you can offer to the world. Let me showcase you
in dazzling light and splendor.

The Goddess deities of old were beautiful, and they still live in the etheric.
I tell you now, that YOU are the ones that have the power.
YOU are the ones that have the will.
YOU are the ones that have the opportunity to manifest through form
all the beautiful love you can shape. You too are creators with me.
As you shape your life, you are shaping my manifestation
of divine feminine creation.
We share this gift together.

I want you to go home and during this next month as a trial, before you
go to sleep at night, I want you to imagine yourself standing on that pedestal.
Bask in that silvery moon beam light, even as you are tonight.
Say to yourself "I Virgie, or I Margaret, or I Mary Beth...AM Goddess Energy
made manifest today !" Say this once a night my daughters,
and see what wonderful changes occur I your life.

Use your will. Take that step. You will find joy and peace
beyond belief. Thank you. Know that I will always be with you.

**Part 2**

My darling Silver Daughters,
It is I who you Called.
I am She who is of the Moonlight
and She who is of your Heartlight.

As I look into your circle, I see your souls sparkle.
Several months ago, I challenged you all to stand up upon a pedestal,
and to claim your Goddess Selves. This is the first step in claiming
your worthiness.

Loving yourself, forgiving yourself and others, yes,
you cannot bring baggage up on this pedestal,
You must let it free. Let go of worthless humility that you don't need
to carry. Stand erect, beautiful, and proud on these pedestals.
This was my challenge.

Now that you have visualized yourself on the pedestal I must tell you
that it will change the way you look at things.
Your horizon is much further away when on this pedestal
You will get more of an overview of the big picture.
This will bring you freedom. You will see that your horizons
are not limited by your general vicinity,
but extend much further than you ever dreamed.

Imagine a Native American Indian living
in the Toronto area in the old days.
Now, put him in the Toronto CN Tower,
where you can see all the way to Niagara Falls!
Imagine what magic he would think this was!
The same is true with your pedestals.
As you raise yourself up, raising your vibration,
raising your thoughts, raising your ideals,
your horizon becomes further and further away.
You can see clearly what is underneath you,
you will remain grounded.
You will see your potential in ways that you have never dreamed before.
This is a gift. Once you have felt your worthiness and can accept it,
and then look around, the view is really beautiful.

Allow this beauty to feed you and give you patience for those that you have
to interact with in your daily life. You know who they are.
They have not stepped up upon their pedestals.
They are bumping into the walls that surround them.
They don't have the overview that you have, or that you will achieve.

I guess you can realize there is no end to the height that the pedestal can grow.
Remember that your roots will always be in the Mother Earth,
and you will always be able to see clearly those who are nearest
and dearest to you.....your home, your immediate surroundings.

You will be balanced, even though you have the overview.
If you remember your power and worthiness,
regardless of how many changes your life or the earth goes through,
you will have no fear. There is no need to claw for the latest
etheric message on what the next change is to be.
TRUST that your life and your love will go on to infinity. This is all you need.
Remember these words: Life is eternal, because love is eternal.
Good Night.

<Dreamie`> people need to view themselves as worthy of love...
Love is the object not the end and to LOVE themselves first
never.....underestimate the power of love....
the more you love...the more it grows...and all things everywhere need love
I love each and every one of you
<Dreamie`> :-)

<^Angel^9> I love you all too... and thank you Steven and SusanRose! ;o)
<Lotus> OOOOMMMM - thank you!!!!!
<Steven>thank you all for being that I may love you
^Angel^9, ^Dove^, Ageya-afk, dol^phine, DoriM, Ganesha,
JEP, LordofDuh, Lotus, stars, sulea, Susanrose, viveka, willow, Dreamie`
<Susanrose> thank you everyone!